Revision of Blog 20

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The way a girl treats her body has drastically changed not just over centuries, but over the last decades. A girl around five years old is dressed in a pink leotard and is dancing in a mature, Beyonce-esque manner. Before she can read, she is already learning how to sexualize herself because someone had to have taught her those moves. But dancing is not the only length girls go through to look sexually attractive. They also endure unhealthy eating habits like starving themselves or counting calories. If these rituals still do not allow them to feel perfect, which they hardly do because in our culture you are never good enough, girls will also willingly participate in unnecessary enhancement surgeries. When their nose is not perfect enough for them, they will go under the knife for a mere five thousand dollars. For some women, the cost means little as long as they perceive themselves as looking better. Young girls are watching their role models, like Britney Spears or Ashley Tisdale, surgically enhance their bodies to make them "perfect," and are learning to associate fake with ideal.

I learned that the topic sentence is incredibly important in determining the content of your paragraph. Blumberg's topic sentences were exceptionally well written because they related directly to the rest of the paragraph. I also learned that it is very helpful to write a rough topic sentence and then write the paragraph, and then come back and rewrite the topic sentence to make it stronger and more relatable to the paragraph.