http://www.clker.com/cliparts/0/j/8/m/T/y/revising-md.png
The peer review was helpful to see how other people formatted their papers. I especially liked looking at other people's introductions because that is where I struggled the most. The two people's papers I looked at where very different, so that helped me see two diverse ways of formatting it. I also focused on the conclusions because that was another part I struggled in. Reading people's comments on mine made me realize the strengths and weaknesses of my paper. I realize that my analysis needs some help, but my evidence is strong.
Thesis: Few female CEOs that exist are brought on by a mixture of prejudice and women holding themselves back, even though there are multiple benefits to women in the workforce, and fortunately the trend is changing to include more women in the workforce.
I looked at
Michael Gee's and
Benjamin Weiss's thesis.
From your thesis statement, I expect you to discuss women in the workforce and/or at CEO positions, and that is definitely an interesting topic to write about. Your thesis has a strong point but I might reword it and even take out the comma before the word even just because it is slightly confusing as to if you are discussing the prejudice itself or more women being brought into the workforce. (Then again, I have not seen your QRG, so this thesis might make more sense in the context of your intro, so other than that nice job!) :)
ReplyDeleteBased on your thesis, it appears your QRG will analyze the reasons behind few females CEOs and how this is changing and then go on to discuss why women are important in the workforce.
ReplyDelete